Matchsticks

[Stefan Kellow]

"So what scares y'more? Goin' back out there and riskin' it all like a good little soldier? Or doing things your way on your terms? Or... staying on the sidelines and livin' your life. Raising your kids." he glanced at her and smiled. "There'll always be a war or a threat or some 'grand enemy' to fight. That never truly goes away. I may not have been a flag officer like you or a Jase'dasis warrior, but I've fought in battle, I've seen my friends an' family lose their lives. Took many lives myself. Walked away and walked back more times than I can count. Now what do I do? I build small craft for the military and I punch out at a certain time and my time is my time. My life is my life." he scooped out some of the veggies he prepared and laid them on the plates and then took the meat he was cooking and let it rest for a moment before carving it. "Maybe you need to get a life too."

[Rebecca Talon]

She shrugged, "Both equally. I know that in war one person doesn't mean victory, but actions have a ripple effect. You know the whole butterfly effect? And, you see I can often get a handle on the future. This time... I see two scenarios and they are all jumbled up. None of it makes any sense, but it has left me disconcerted."

[Stefan Kellow]

Stefan placed a fork and a knife next to her plate and went to mix a drink and handed her a glass. "Well, it could be that you're over thinking it. Took me ten years of counseling to figure that out, one of the downsides of being left brain engineer." he turned off the stove and sat across from her at the work table. "Maybe it's best to simply... trust. As my sister is so fond of saying, hope for the best, cope with the rest. Of course I always wonder, how much does one have to cope with before 'the best' happens?"

[Rebecca Talon]

"I'm used to that, but this for me Is uncharted territory. I am having to make what seems like an equally awful decision with no clue what the outcome might be. Let me ask this question. If I were to become Bellatrix would the Alliance be able to stop me? What if we ally ourselves?"

[Stefan Kellow]

"Just as if Nicholas would turn into Dominus given a choice?" Stefan asked as he cut into his meat. "No, I do not think you are capable of it, unless you mean her total way of not giving a flying fuck about anything. Then perhaps, but I do not think you could be a part of this family and be that cruel. It is simply not how you are wired." he gestured with his knife. "Nicholas has done some shady things in the past and I am sure you as well, but you had good intentions behind them, you worked within the rules and when those didn't work... you did what had to be done." he put a piece of meat in his mouth and chewed for a moment before he swallowed and cocked his head slightly. "Why must it be so binary? Evil or good? Right or wrong? Becca or Bellatrix? Is there not some room for grey?"

[Rebecca Talon]

"I cannot allow for it," she said with a sigh. "Like Galadriel or Boromir, I too cannot be a ring barer. That power will corrupt. For some, to be grey is a line they can walk. For me it isn't."

[Stefan Kellow]

"Do you think so little of yourself that you believe you would change who you are?" Stefan cocked his head slightly. "And this isn't Lord of the Rings, although that is very much who my family is... but my friend, this is also real life and things are seldom that cut and dried." he looked her in the eyes. "You do not have the eyes of a person who would betray everything a lifetime of benevolence has taught her. What I do see is a woman who has given most of her adult life in service to others, who has taken on more personally than ten people have taken on in their lifetimes." he took a bite of his food and swallowed and a wry smile formed on his lips. "And do you not think any of this was not for some reason? Or perhaps... there is no reason, it's just how things are. I have seen my share of good men and women burn out and that's okay. No flame is meant to burn for an eternity, doesn't mean it cannot be reignited and like wood in a fire that even after the fire has gone out, has no been consumed, given time can be relit. You haven't been consumed, nor have you been extinguished. "

[Rebecca Talon]

Rebecca checked her chronometer, "I fear that I have not explained myself well enough." Sighing she stood, "Thanks for the meal and drinks, but I must be going. Will you tell Nicholas that I stopped by? Tell him I'm staying with Angel at the moment."

[Stefan Kellow]

"Perhaps but I would not be opposed to listening to you tell me more some other time." Stefan said with a smile as he stood up. "You are always welcome here, Nicholas programmed the security to let you in any time. Even I have to get my ass in here before closing or I'm stuck outside." he put his hand on her shoulder. "You are a better person than you think you are. Never forget that, even if you or others may think otherwise from time to time."

[Rebecca Talon]

She shrugged, "That Mr. Kellow is up for debate. I am selfish and self-centered. My two greatest weaknesses."